I never really liked you
Because I wanted  you to be
More than you could be
For you..
For me..

Curtain calls & Wallstreet drives
The force that weighs us down
Sizing where I left you
Hit the line
Hit the ground

We PUSH and PULL and DRIVE and CHASE
Empty paper
Infected dreams
And’ll never know the name the game
The silence behind the scream

“Dress it up
So they don’t know”
It’s me I see in you
Discontented with the seams
Layers smothering the truth

In time..
Thoughts race,
These feelings laced
Some finish,
Some miss the signs
I left you there
A blank stare
And then began to cry..

“I could’ve said HI a hundred times”
“I should’ve said so much more”
To twist the name
This ‘powerless’ frame
And walked you through the right door

But who am I to play with hands
Too small to grasp the strings
And change the tune of Destiny’s sand
The song you’ll never sing

We PUSH and PULL and DRIVE and CHASE
Empty paper
Infected dreams
And’ll never know the name the game
The silence behind your scream

I never really liked you
Because I wanted  you to be
More than you could be
For you..

Like me..

**R.I.P. BILLY**

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Is swinging from the center of somewhere,
nowhere yet everywhere at once.
Worlds colliding and forming anew:
Dense awareness: an intricacy subdividing my focus and labeling such things ‘distraction’.
BRIGHT LIGHTS!
“Distraction from what?” I ask.
From the moment’s task?
From where my feet are basking in the Sun I do not feel in such a state?
Which at any given moment
May or may not be in alignment with where my mind says I should be these daze.
Of which course, could or could not be relatively accurate.
A hazed maze of useless searching when the STONE is right within reach,
SILENCE lacing this Illusion of Should;
“DON’T PUSH THE RED BUTTON!!!”
Too simple for a complex soul like me.
Right and wrong, in and out, here and there..
With all this chatter..
Wherever here is, is definitely where I am not.
“Presence”, says the mere whisper in my ear.
“Now shhhhh, repeat after me.”

“My mind is quite now…”

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It’s sacred thought: where two souls come together to play beyond the shallow waters of before.  No permission, inhibition.  It’s Tantra, a school of gifts and grace, tainting the programming of yesterday, with passion filled rope tying my faith with hope.

Silence.
Take me down.
LOUD.

I hold no expectations of you to stay.  Patiently…paint my body with your every curiosity and fantasy.  I’ll be your playmate.  It’s my first time too.  17, in a dense dream of Unknown, anticipation, true.  On the floor I lay, where you placed me.  Where you threw me down into a sound of shyness: my foreplay.  Where my fire can only be tamed with red silk ribbon unforgiven.  Take it in hand: my love.  Tie my control down and place the lace over my sight so I can but sense the anticipation of your intent, your breath, your sweat, as the power of submitted powerlessness fills the sphere of you and I.  Where we are but a service to one another, erotic gain, pleasured pain as I drip with vulnerability into my lace panties.

Do you know what you want,
Will you still,
What it when it comes?
Do you know what you want,
Will you still,
What it when I come?
You’ve earned THE PASS, the safe words, my trust.

My body: your toy, an eloquent piece of art where the only rule is:  communication-in words, in the space in between breath; where the seems of trust begin and end.  Take me down into the cells that bleed your melody riddling my aura with your chemistry…with me..  On top of the counter…outside in the rain, on the beach…in any secret place we can find

..To play..
..I’m open…
..Let them watch.

PHOTOGRAPHY: ALEXANDRA GIBSON   AUTHOR/MODEL: KRIS RENTA

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Hey guys!!  Kris Renta here!!

I had the honorable invitation of being apart of this blog during a meeting with Brett yesterday: Thanks Brett! Your vision is inspiring and I’m stoked to be apart of an artist community with illin’ juju (that’s ‘energy’ in Kris language). I dig this whole concept for many reasons, the most apparent being that it will force my often lacking diligence in updating my own personal blog (which I JUST redesigned last week and is a continuous work in progress).

Kris Renta Blog

Besides that, I’m into posting poetry, music (digital in kind), media arts, events, FASHION, FASHION-and did I mention: FASHION?! For as a working actress and model, I’m usually surrounded by the often interesting NEVER boring types. Which keeps my monkey mind occupied, creative channel flowing and posts..well….JUICY!

WELCOME TO THE CIRCUS RIDE VIBE THAT!
Gotta love how The Universe delivers what I need through others and vice versa!

You can also follow me on Twitter.

With that, I decided to start with a piece I wrote last week while considering the level of humility in my life-which goes handin hand (if you ask me) with gratitude. It’s called 777, and it goes a lil somethin’ like this:

Humility flies in and out of my eyes; inner, outer and cries-to be seen. SYNCHRONIZE. From within me I dream from seams not-as-often seeping in self-seeking frequencies these daze. Faulting many times in a momentary haze and kicked back to retract old patterns of yesterday forming down new synapses as the audience of my awareness claps in tic-tac-toe cadences.

I pray-affirm-confirming that the path of my destiny, is now in the light. Debating always still, as the rebel inside me always will-wanting to fall back in unserving acts of comfort ability. Then my heart speaks true. Knowing better than to put all this ambition before you, before that which my fellow soul child goes through: a TRUE FRIEND.

Lend me your hand when I’m lost in the test, stressin’. Teach me what it’s like for you to breath your life lessons. Help me hear the key misperceived to sing when I fall flat on that staff I think I know so well. And I’ll cast my spell.

I’ll lend you every time I fell and rose in lyrical melodies and prose, in inspiration floating to the Dimension of Serenity’s tune perfectly composed. Cuz the higher self knows: it’s give and receive, this prize. It’s karma kissing the path where you and I collide. Gazing eyes. Inviting us to create away from dead paradigms. From traditions deeming relationships idealized in Society’s eyes.

Where I become we, and we can survive…

Because..
Humility flies in and out of my eyes; inner, outer and cries:

“Let’s SYNCHRONIZE!”  – Kris Renta

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